Christmas With the Crazies
by Blahsblah2001
Summary: Why, for twenty-three years I've put up with it now, I must find stop Christmas from coming, but HOW? Christmas with Nny. COMPLETED
1. 1

I am utterly hopeless and completely unable to come up with anything at all of my own. Nonetheless, I'm hoping you like the following fic. (I'm almost hoping that you people flame this, at least I'll know for CERTAIN I'm crazy)  
I don't Own JtHM or any of his associates, That belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. (Who is living proof that insanity is not ALWAYS completely bad)  
I don't OWN the Grinch, or Whoville. That belongs to Dr. Seuss. (Again, crazy.) 

Most of the people in the city of Whovopolis liked Christmas. Some of them were Jewish, so they didn't, obviously. Some were atheists, and they were feeling a little left out, what with all the jolliness, but we don't care about them.  
No, we are focusing on one severely disturbed individual who lives just noth of Whovopolis. This young man's name is Johnny C. Or, to those he likes, Nny.  
Nny hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season! Please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason. It could be the glaring lights, trying to blind him as he drove at night, or it could be all the fake Santas, pestering him for change.  
But I believe the reason is quite simple. He had no one to spend the holiday with. Well, exept two delusions made of Styrofoam. But who wants to spend Christmas being pestered to kill?  
Anywho, whatever the reason, Nny hated the holiday. He was particularly moody for a whole month, and more people than were necessary met gruesome ends. He stood there today, on the edge of a dropoff, talking to the Styrofoam, and hating the people.  
He looked down at the city, all the people moving around like tiny ants.  
But he knew evry person in Whovopolis was hanging a wreath, or putting up a tree. "And they're hanging their stockings!' He hissed with a frown. (Which the Styrofoam boys enjoyed to no end.) "Tomarrow is Christmas, it's practicly here!" He growled, his finger's nervously drumming.  
"I must find a way to keep Christmas from coming! I can see it now. All the stupid kids will wake up nice and early, tearing into their presents, signs of a religious holiday gone sour! They'll open them up, and then, oh, the noise!" He imagined the next morning with all the joy of a pessimist.  
"Out they'll come, with all their shrieking, whining toys! Honk, honk, and squeak, squeak! They'll run up and down the sidewalks, yelling and screaming! Oh, I can't STAND THE NOISE!!!" Psycho and Mr. Eff leered. Johnny was upset. That was always good.  
"Then they'll all get together, they'll go around, caroling, singing, and when they're done with THAT. When they're done with that, they'll all sit down o Christmas dinner. They'll have their turkeys, and puddings, and cookies. Their candy canes and sugar. And they'll feast, and feast, and FEAST!" He sat back on the seat of his car, and pondered.  
"You must stop this whole thing!" Said Eff. "Why, for twenty-three years you've put up with it now, You must stop Christmas from coming!"  
"But how?"  
And then Johnny got an idea. An awful idea. Nny got a wonderful, awful idea. He revved up the car, intending to drive back to his house. Then something hit him, like a dead elephant falling from the sky.  
"I'm not twenty-three." He said to Eff.  
"My god you're stupid."

Back at house 777, Nny was almost done with his project. He had made a Santa Clause hat and coat. Exept the only fabric he had was black, and he had to hold it together with duct tape BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!  
"What a great evil trick! With this hat and this coat, I look just like St. Nick!"  
"No you don't." Said Psycho, confused.  
"_Shut up_!" Screeched Eff, elbowing him. Nny didn't notice.  
"All I need is a reindeer." He mused.  
"You don't need reindeer, you have a _car_." Said Psycho. Nny just looked at the two doughboys thoughtfully.

Fifteen minutes later:  
"You idiot." said Psycho, looking over at Eff. "You had to get him going, didn't you! You have to keep Christmas from coming!" He mimicked. "Well, you've done it _now_!"  
Eff didn't reply. He was closing his eyes tightly, trying to put himself somewhere other than here. Here, duct-taped to the front of Nny's car, with fake antlers taped to his head.  
Nny stuck his head out the window. "GIDDYUP!" He yelled, giggling. Then he started the car, pulling it out of the driveway. They drove to house 775.  
"This is the first stop!" He announced.  
_"WHY DID YOU DRIVE US FOUR FEET?!!"_ Shreiked Eff. Nny smacked him.  
"Shut up! You'll wake them!" Then Nny climbed up onto the roof. And dropped down through the chimney.  
"The front door was open." Said Eff.  
"Just shut up." Said Psycho. "I think that's not the point. Nny's a little crazier than normal today."

A shattering sound erupted from the house as Nny tried to throw things up the chimney. It wasn't working. So he opted just to throw the presents out the window, glass and all. It never stopped him at home. Somehow, the house's inhabitants did not wake up as Nny loaded all their stuff into his car.. And drove next door to do the same thing.  
"It'd gonna be a loooooong night." Said Eff.

To be continued  
CHRISTMAS BREAK I GOT ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD!! THE CRAZYNESS EXPLODES FROM ME!!!! WAHOO!!! Reveiw!


	2. 2

I am so crazy. I still don't own any of this stuff. Sorry. Please send reviews anyway, though. I don't think I'm gonna do any chapters after this, but if you want me to, say so and I will, K? Woot!

Nny had reached the end of his street. And he was getting bored. The car was filling up, too.  
"Maybe I should go find some OTHER way of stopping Christmas." He mused.  
"Yes! Some other way!!" The Doughboys chorused together.  
"Hmmm…. But how?"  
"Light the city on fire!" Suggested Mr. Eff.  
"Nah. I'd burn down the 24/7."  
"Just burn down the OTHER half of town!"  
"Nah. Fire has a nasty habit of spreading."

Psycho pondered for a second over whether Nny was crazy enough to buy it. He decided he was, and made a suggestion.  
"You could kill Santa Clause!" Nny's eyes lit up. Psycho snickered. Nny was a LOT crazier than normal today.

Nny proudly surveyed his work. The chimney (Which he made out of a chopped hole in the wall, and a lot of cardboard) was completely rigged. He hadn't built a fire, like most Santa-fearing kids, oh, no. The cardboard would light on fire, for one thing.  
The bottom was rigged with a pressure pad. When it was triggered, a dozen or so knives would launch at whatever triggered it. Failing that, Nny was determined stare at the Chimney all night.  
Santa was as good as dead.  
Hours passed. Nny stared, unblinking, at the jagged hole in his wall. The doughboys stared at him. About three in the morning, Eff finally broke the silence.  
"Nny… about this Santa Clause thing… You know he doesn't exist, right?"  
"HOW DO YOU MEAN?!?!"  
At that exact second, something dropped down the chimney, and was impaled. Nny jumped up, pointing to the dark… thing.  
"See! It's Santa!"  
"That's Santa's sack." Said Eff.  
"Then where's-"  
"HO HO HOOOOOOOO!!!!" The door burst in, and Santa stood there, in all his holiday garb.  
"I'm Heeeeeeeere for you, Johnny!!" He boomed. "You've been very NAUGHTY this year!!"


	3. 3

"I have? What did I do?"  
Santa looked confused. (Yet still evil)  
"Um… you killed about two hundred people this year. And a poodle."  
"Oh yeah…. That little guy was a nutcase."  
"Plus you impaled my sack. That'll put you on The List for sure. And what's all this about trying to stop Christmas?"  
"Oh, yeeeeah. I was gonna stop Christmas."  
"And how were you gonna do that?"  
"I was gonna KILL YOU!!!" Nny lunged at Santa, screaming like a banshee. In his right hand, he held one of his bigger knives. Santa blinked, and dissolved in a swirl of red and green sparkles a second before Nny would have impaled him.  
"That was different." Remarked Psycho.  
"At least you've still got his sleigh." Said Eff.  
"Right… The sleigh." Nny looked thoughtful again.

Pieces of wood dropped through the chimney.  
"I think they're part of the sleigh." Said Eff. "Nny must be really wreaking hell on that thing." The sound of crashing wood came through the chimney. Then they heard Nny climb off the roof. A second later, the door opened.  
They couldn't see anything, having been placed facing the chimney so they could help keep watch. Nny went into the kitchen. They heard him rummaging around.  
"You guys want anything?" He called.  
"No, we're good, thanks." A few minutes later, Nny grabbed the two figures, and took them into the kitchen.  
"I broke up his sleigh. It's pretty messed up. Santa'll be hitchhiking tonite."  
"He'll just hitch up his reindeer to something else, fly back to the North Pole. But I guess you stopped Christmas this year." Said Psycho.  
"But not next Christmas. Or the one after. He'll just get another sleigh." Said Eff. Nny bit into a hamburger and chewed thoughtfully.  
"I guess he could find another sleigh. But try finding more magic reindeer." He gave the burgur a little wave. The doughboys gawked.  
"You turned the reindeer into HAMBURGUR?!?!"  
"Mmyep want some?"

The End And Merry Christmas!! Remember: They don't put the reveiw button up for their health!


End file.
